Soap is not a condiment
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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