why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
