i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
