I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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