Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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