Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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