How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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