Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
