apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
