I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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