Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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