oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's the barista slut.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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