went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
