i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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