saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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