you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
