his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
