jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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