I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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