Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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