I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
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I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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