So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
