remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
