It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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