wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
