Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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