yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
