Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
