Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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