He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
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4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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