He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
