taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
