id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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