I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
