I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
