um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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