I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
