When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
