ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
