Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize