I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
