i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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