Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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