Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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