She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
