why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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