I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
