So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
