in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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