I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
