I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
