My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
