you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
