Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
