Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
