OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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