her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
